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Martin Kelner: Botham and Gower put boot into campers The last thing England's cricketers need is a foghorn-voiced martinet screaming at them to clean the latrinesHalf the world, it seems, has been spending the weekend in boot camp. Not just the line-up of exhibitionists and club singers competing to win The X Factor, but also the England cricket squad. Separate boot camps, I assume.Clearly, the term has been widened from its original meaning as a place of intensive training for military recruits. Correct me if I am wrong – and if you have access to the records of any of the major online bookmakers, you will know I frequently am – but is boot camp not one of those hell-holes where a bull‑necked chap with a shaved head and a taste for sadism spews abuse at callow youths while they try to skewer stuffed dummies with bayonets? How is that kind of carry-on meant to help England win the Ashes in Australia?I am certainly not against it as far as The X Factor is concerned. A little more or less bloody bayonet action in the final stages might liven up the competition no end, but for your international cricketer, after a long and stressful season, the last thing he needs is a foghorn-voiced martinet with deeply repressed personal problems screaming at him to clean the latrines with a toothbrush.David Gower and Ian Botham raised the subject on Sky Sports after England's victory over Pakistan at the Rose Bowl, the climax to an unusually busy cricket season. "They have to go off to boot camp straight after this. You'd have enjoyed that," Gower said to his colleague, with a suggestion of a wink, and an insouciant chuckle."I think I might have developed a groin strain or a bit of a hamstring tweak," Botham countered. "Mind you, I couldn't see you going either.""No, I'm in your camp – if you'll pardon the expression," agreed the nonchalant Gower, who really should consider presenting from an armchair and lighting up a cigar from time to time.They were fortunate the England team director Andy Flower was on the pitch being interviewed by Michael Atherton and not in the studio with them, because he did not strike me as the kind of chap to have his carefully constructed end-of-season programme taken lightly. To use a cricket metaphor – oh, hang on, it is cricket we are talking about, so that works out rather well – he plays a pretty straight bat. Deadpan is scarcely adequate to describe Flower. He makes Andy Murray look like Zero Mostel (or Jim Carrey, if you want a more contemporary reference)."Tell me about the boot camp. Talk about the rationale behind it," was Atherton's opener, swatted away by Flower: "First of all, I wouldn't describe it as a boot camp. That's got quite a lot of negative connotations." Absolutely. For a generation, boot camp means Cheryl Cole critiquing your interpretation of Lady Gaga's back catalogue, and that will hardly have the Aussies quaking in their boots."It is designed to educate all of us, to give us a good sense of perspective on things, to allow the guys to become more self-aware, and allow the guys to understand each other better," Flower said."We can live in a cosseted world, in the sporting world, and this is there to broaden minds. It's not related to the Ashes at all, it's more about our development as a group of blokes."Flower's claim that it would be "fun – in a quirky sort of way" did not seem to convince the solidly old-school Sky team. "Some of the players have slight niggles and injuries. Does that send you a message?" asked Atherton."All of those guys will be on the camp, you can be sure," replied Flower, with just a hint of a smile, apparently unconcerned that his overuse of the word "guys" made him sound like a Clive Woodward tribute act, and that his concentration on matters outside the clearly defined boundaries of the sport might be in danger of putting him in what Glenn Hoddle would undoubtedly describe as "a Glenn Hoddle situation"."I'm still not sold on all that stuff about getting to know each other better, broadening horizons, whatever it was," said Gower, with the air of a man whose warm-down routine at the end of a long, hard season, you can be fairly sure did not include classes in self-awareness.If Sky's cricket commentary team can be dangerously relaxed, Match Of The Day was anything but. The show has been criticised for the weakness of its punditry and for favouring chummy banter over game highlights, so Gary Lineker rather pointedly opened the show: "As always we'll concentrate largely on the action, interspersed with the incisive and instructive views of Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer."The two Alans seemed to have put in a little more homework than usual, with Hansen making some mildly interesting points about Chelsea's defending, and Shearer able to comment on Steven Gerrard's elbow on Danny Welbeck from the expert's point of view. But there was a little too much nervous laughter, and it was definitely not a good week for Shearer to confuse David Silva with David Villa, twice. Boot camp, anyone?CricketThe X FactorSport TVMartin Kelnerguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Commonwealth Games: Luke Folwell wins fifth gymnastics medal • 23-year-old takes gold in vault and silver in parallel bars• Imogen Cairns wins gold in women's floor event• Follow all the action with Steve Busfield's live blogEngland's Luke Folwell underlined his standing as the male gymnast of the Commonwealth Games by adding gold and silver to his medal haul in Delhi tonight.The 23-year-old from Huntingdon took the gold in the men's vault and then a silver in the parallel bars at the IG Sports Complex.Fowell now has five medals to his name having already won gold in the men's all-around individual and silvers in the men's rings and the men's team.England's Imogen Cairns has also won a gymnastics gold medal in the women's floor event.Commonwealth Games 2010Gymnasticsguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
NKorea loses bid to compete at gymnastics worlds By 2010-10-14T15:37:37ZLAUSANNE, Switzerland (AP) -- North Korea will not be able to send teams to the 2012 London Olympics after international gymnastics officials rejected the federation's appeal of a ban imposed because a gymnast falsified her age.... hosted.ap.org |
Prosecutors won't charge Junior Seau for alleged assault Prosecutors in San Diego won't charge former NFL star Junior Seau after his live-in girlfriend alleged she was assaulted. The San Diego County ... rssfeeds.usatoday.com |