| England v Pakistan - live! • Hit refresh for the latest or select the auto-update button• Email all your thoughts to rob.smyth@guardian.co.uk• Relive the dramatic final day of the county championship29th over: England 154-5 (target: 242; Morgan 39, Wright 16) Saeed Ajmal replaces Umar Gul, who needs a breather after an excellent seven-over spell. Pakistan look a bit forlorn at the moment and are again in need-a-wicket territory. Morgan drives three through the covers to bring up the fifty partnership from 47 balls. He has played beautifully; the moment the fifth wicket fell he upped his game as if to say, "Oh, you'll be wanting me to win this on my own again?" That would terrify 95 per cent of cricketers, but it seems to invigorate him. "I genuinely hope England lose this," tubthumps Tim Woollias. "Only then might they learn that four recognised batsmen isn't enough for 50-over cricket."28th over: England 148-5 (target: 242; Morgan 35, Wright 15) Kamran Akmal is going off the field with that finger injury, and his brother Umar will take the wicketkeeping gloves. Morgan cuts Afridi's first ball for four with more excellent placement, although he was aided by Shoaib's geriatric movement around the boundary. Afridi then strays down leg side and Wright kisses it fine for four more. A fine over for England brings 11, and they need 94 from 132 balls. "I'd like to run a chip shop simply called 'CHiPs' and employ Erik Estrada behind the counter," says Phil Sawyer.27th over: England 137-5 (target: 242; Morgan 29, Wright 10) Morgan is taking very few liberties against Gul. That's a sensible approach because the required rate is still under five. Wright, on the other hand, looks more comfortable against pace and laces a fine cover drive for four. Gul has a huge LBW appeal off the last ball; it looked like it might have been pad first, but Richard Illingworth was having none of it. I'd like to see that again. Wright might just have got outside the line. Ah, there was an inside edge. Good umpiring. "You're a very clever man, Rob, I doff my cap to you," lies Steve Churnin. "Off to the pub to watch the 'thrilling denouement' of this game. Any luck, Swanny will lift that ODI strike rate and win us the game."26th over: England 131-5 (target: 242; Morgan 28, Wright 4) Wright, desperate to get off strike against Afridi, takes a dicey single to mid on and gets away with it because of Ajmal's misfield. Morgan then chips one into the open spaces on the leg side. The heart stopped for a split-second as the camera panned left but it was a perfectly safe shot. Wright is all over the place against the variations of Afridi, who has a big but ludicrously optimistic LBW shout from a ball that was missing leg comfortably. "Real atmosphere here now Rob, with good support for both sides," says Gary Naylor. "It may be wishful thinking on my part, but I feel there's plenty of people here who don't know what the phrase 'Zindabad Pakistan' means, but would be pleased to see green team get over the line in a thriller." We can't lose really. Either Pakistan win and keep the series alive, or we get a Morgan special.25th over: England 128-5 (target: 242; Morgan 27, Wright 3) Gul spears in a leg-stump delivery that scuttles under Kamran Akmal for five wides. Akmal hurts his finger again in the process and is wincing between deliveries. He might go off here. We're at the halfway point: England need 115 runs, Pakistan need five wickets. "The simple 'Mr Chips' (Chessington) is good," says Simon Robinson, "but 'The Frying Squad' (Hither Green) is inspired..." The name alone put £10,000 on house prices within a mile radius, apparently.24th over: England 121-5 (target: 242; Morgan 27, Wright 2) Now Afridi has Wright in his sights, and the first ball flies off the edge and right through the vacant slip area for a single. That's a double kick in the facilitators for Afridi because it gets Wright off strike. Three balls later, Morgan whirls a scintillating reverse sweep to third man for four. That flew to the fence. "Once Test cricket is played under lights with a dew settling," says Gary Naylor, "nobody will beat Pakistan again." There is one team who can beat Pakistan in any conditions: Pakistan.23rd over: England 114-5 (target: 242; Morgan 22, Wright 1) Gul is bowling much better than at any point in this series and very nearly slips a full inswinger through Morgan. Gul is a real handful at the moment, because the ball is shaping in, so Morgan is content to play defensively for the most part and see the over out. Excellent cricket from both players. "Good cocktail-party stat for you, Rob," assumes Steve Churnin. "Which current England player has a better strike rate in Tests than ODIs?** Research not fully completed." A batsman? Swann?22nd over: England 111-5 (target: 242; Morgan 20, Wright 0) Shahid Afridi has brought himself on in place of Abdul Razzaq. I think he fancies Luke Wright, who has struggled against him in the past. For now he is bowling to Morgan, who cuts four through extra cover with delightful placement. Morgan then edges a reverse sweep short of Akmal before rocking back to smash a pull over midwicket for four. There is enormous pressure on him – too much, really – but he looks pretty comfortable with that. "I live in Kathmandu, where KFC and Pizza Hut have recently opened," says Rob Godden. "However, on the Ring Road (the Nepalese equivalent of the North Circular) there is a local restaurant already called 'KFC' (Kwality Food Center), though I suspect they stole the name from the US company, right? Mind you, if you have ever seen a chicken sitting on the open counter of a Kathmandu butchers you might be minded to avoid them altogether, unless you don't mind having one after the fly party has finished?" When's the next flight?21st over: England 103-5 (target: 242; Morgan 12, Wright 0) Good game this. "Has Robert Hill (over 25) missed the pun behind Jason's Donner Van?" says Oliver Pool. "It sounds like the name of 80s pop singer Jason Donovan, see. In fact, it was colloquially referred to as Jason Donner Van by the locals a long time before it acquiesced and changed its name."WICKET! England 103-5 (Yardy LBW b Gul 4) Yardy has been dealing almost exclusively in false strokes and now Umar Gul has put him out of his misery. It was a beautiful inswinger that trapped Yardy plumb in front as he planted his front leg and played around it. That was stone dead.20th over: England 101-4 (target: 242; Morgan 11, Yardy 3) This game is now all about Eoin Morgan. When England bat second and win an ODI he averages 85 – and when they bat second and lose he averages 16. That's a remarkable statistic, and one I'll be proudly announcing at tonight's imaginary cocktail party. With the ball starting to do a little bit under the lights, Shahid Afridi replaces Ajmal with Razzaq. Morgan pushes a couple through extra cover and then steals a sharp single to bring up the hundred.19th over: England 96-4 (target: 242; Morgan 8, Yardy 1) Yardy, who for all his qualities is not a No6, is dropped third ball! He edged Gul very low to the left of Kamran Akmal, who dived but couldn't hang on with the fingertips of his left hand. He has injured himselff in the process and is receiving treatment. "Taking the gangster/food crossover market from over 40 even further. I should let you know that there's an Al Pacino Cash and Carry in the curious urban paradise of Wood Green industrial estate in North London," says James Clark. " Presumably not an area that's frequented by lawyers for the rich and famous I assume. Maybe they do a good deal on horses' heads?"WICKET! England 95-4 (Strauss b Gul 57) That's a huge wicket for Pakistan. Gul gets one to jag back just enough to take the inside edge as Strauss pushes forward, and the ball flies back onto the stumps. England's lower order starts here, and this game is back in the balance.18th over: England 91-3 (target: 242; Strauss 53, Morgan 8) Four singles from Ajmal's over. The Pakistan dial is rapidly moving around to 'need a wicket'. "Re: over 47. One very hot day at Lord's Wes Hall bowled quite a few overs off the top and retired to wide long leg," says Angus Doulton, sitting us on his knee. "The bat got a fine inside edge.....Hall sprinted round the boundary, picked up on the run, saving the four as he did and threw to the top of the stumps. The whole crowd cheered a great piece of fielding from a quickie who, one might have thought, had deserved a well-earned rest in the outfield."17th over: England 87-3 (target: 242; Strauss 51, Morgan 6) Umar Gul has replaced Shoaib (8-0-38-1), and we're into the middle overs now so England will be fairly content with three or four singles per over. "At university a friend from Kidderminster and a chap from Axminster had the world's weakest face-off about which town was 'The Carpet Town of Europe'," says Robert Hill. " When I told them I preferred wood floors, they simultaneously pronounce me an effin' cee."16th over: England 84-3 (target: 242; Strauss 50, Morgan 4) Strauss cuts Ajmal for a single to reach an extremely accomplished half-century from only 48 balls. Morgan then shapes for the reverse sweep and actually plays an orthodox sweep for two. The speed of his hands is terrifying, faster even than Ted Rogers'. "It'll always be Texa Fried Chicken for me," says Cricinfo's Andrew Miller, his mind wandering back to one particularly dignity-free Friday night in the winter of 2002.15th over: England 80-3 (target: 242; Strauss 49, Morgan 1) Shoaib is into his eighth over, which is a helluva shift for a man of his age. Morgan, who is in a pretty lean trot in 50-over cricket, gets off the mark. "One desperate night in Dublin I 'dined' at Abrakebabra," says Stephen Davenport. "Not generally being a meat-eater, my choice was reduced to just one menu item, the "Fish in a Box". Which was possibly the most literal 'meal' I have ever bought, but at least the most honest. A box containing a fish. And nothing else."14th over: England 77-3 (target: 242; Strauss 47, Morgan 0) "In our part of Sheffield we're blessed with the mod-themed Codrophenia," says Phil Smith, "and it's recent competitor, New Cod on the Block."WICKET! England 77-3 (Bopara c K Akmal b Ajmal 7) Saeed Ajmal strikes in his first over. Bopara went for a big drive at a delivery that went straight on and got a thin edge to Kamran Akmal, who held on smartly. That's not great batting from Bopara; all England need to do is milk Ajmal for three or four singles per over.13th over: England 74-2 (target: 242; Strauss 45, Bopara 6) Shoaib is into his seventh over and he almost nails Bopara with a full inswinger that flew off the inside edge and back onto the pad. From the final delivery Bopara feathers one through the covers for four. "Best 'home of'," begins Jeff Kenny. "It's got to be Mumps Bridge, Oldham… Home of the Tubular Bandage. Just knocked the bridge down to make way for a Metrolink station. Brings a tear to the old glass eye it does."12th over: England 68-2 (target: 242; Strauss 45, Bopara 2) Umar Gul replaces Razzaq (5-0-27-1), and Strauss times his first ball supremely through midwicket for four. He then works the last delivery off his pads for more of the same. Strauss looks in wonderful touch and has 45 from 38 balls. His scoring rate also allows Bopara to play himself in at his leisure. "'Madon'," says Phil Sawyer. "Have you been watching your Sopranos box set again by any chance, Rob?" What else is there to do? Watch the Wire? Have an unbroken social scene?11th over: England 58-2 (target: 242; Strauss 36, Bopara 1) Pakistan have suddenly started misfielding all over the place, to the amusement of Bumble in the Sky box, but they are all motionless when Strauss slams an imperious extra-cover drive for four off Shoaib. "A topless after-hours kebab bar?" sniffs Ian Copestake, and you can see where this is going can't you? "Who would want to be distracted by indeterminate meat when trying to eat a kebab?"10th over: England 51-2 (target: 242; Strauss 29, Bopara 1) Strauss pings Razzaq through square leg for four more. It was actually pretty full but he just pulled it on its way, a really good stroke. "Sure Jimmy's good in the outfield, but can he do this?" Madon, I remember that first one from one of many Wisden all-nighters (yep, they were as hot as they sound). Didn't it land in McGrath's wrong hand?9th over: England 45-2 (target: 242; Strauss 21, Bopara 0) "A gentleman of my acquaintance, for the protection of whose identity I shall refer to as 'Paul Scott', once opined to me that what our central Essex town really needs is a topless after-hours kebab bar," says Rich Chapman. "KeBoobs was his chosen moniker." I thought they called them 'house parties'?WICKET! England 42-2 (Trott b Shoaib 2) Jonathan Trott has millions of qualities. He is a wonderful player, blessed with truly exceptional concentration, but when all you can think about is what time you might get to the pub on a Friday evening, his gameface is the last thing you want to see. AND SHOAIB I LOVE YOU! He has just cleaned Trott up with a majestic inswinging yorker, a real throwback to his hair-flapping pomp. Trott made two from 10 balls and Pakistan have a sniff here.8th over: England 40-1 (target: 242; Strauss 20, Trott 1) Abdul Razzaq bowls to Jonathan Trott. Dot balls ensue. Four of them, and then Trott takes a sharp single to mid on. "Long timereader, first time emailer (there is something horribly repulsive yet joyous about writing that)," says George Cutts. "I pass through Sittingbourne station twice a day on my agomising commute from Faversham to London. Sittingbourne is truly a depressing place and ruins the enjoyment I have in pronouncing the stations on my line in an exageratted American accent: Roe-chester, Chay-tam, Gill-ing-ham, Rain-ham. Oh dear, I thought i had something to say but didn't..." You should try living there.7th over: England 38-1 (target: 242; Strauss 19, Trott 0) Three from Shoaib's over. "Strauss 2010: Test average 31.53; ODI average 61.09," says Gary Naylor. "Funny old game etc etc etc."6th over: England 35-1 (target: 242; Strauss 16, Trott 0) The new batsman is Jonathan Trott, who is protecting an ODI average of 67.71. "Re: the Eko-Unit kebab shop mentioned at over 44," begins Steve Lavington. "I've had plenty of opportunity to ponder the mystery of its name while stuck in traffic on the No29 bus. I reckon it's a crafty attempt to garner some urban cred by combining the brands Marc Ecko and G-unit in such a way as to dodge possible lawsuits. Feel free to drop that conversational gem at your next dinner party or cocktail evening." Why wait that long? I'm shouting it round the office as I type.WICKET! England 35-1 (Davies b Razzaq 18) Having beaten Davies twice on the inside edge already, Razzaq does so again and sends the off stump flying. A fine delivery and a much-needed wicket for Pakistan.5th over: England 28-0 (target: 242; Strauss 16, Davies 12) Shoaib is consistently over 90mph, although he looks shattered already. Strauss takes a quick single to mid on and Davies flicks another through square leg. "Mike Hendrick and Chris Old were both brilliant slip fielders in an era when it tended to be the opening batsmen who patrolled the boundary," says Richard O'Hagan. Ah yes but what about allpurpose fielders? Or just outfielders? Obviously there have been better slippers than Anderson; in fact I think he has only fielded in the slips to slow bowling in his England career. But he is an electric outfielder.4th over: England 26-0 (target: 242; Strauss 15, Davies 11) This is a gorgeous stroke from Strauss, a back-foot drive through the covers for four off Razzaq. England are cruising. "Presumably Kebabs Windsor will be close to artisan baker Hattie Cakes and garden centre Charles Haw Trees," apologises Dan Levy.3rd over: England 20-0 (target: 242; Strauss 10, Davies 10) This might be the last time I get to OBO the great Shoaib Akhtar, so I'd like to thank him for all the fish. And for one particular spell that I will take to the grave. He beats Strauss outside off with a good lifter but is then pulled disdainfully over midwicket for four. Strauss completes another good over for England by timing another boundary off his pads. "Sorry, just got in, so I've not been able to follow the saintly OBO until now, but I see we might be on a fast-food riff," deduces Detective Andrew Palmer. "If so, can I put in a word for Pitta the Great on Portobello Road? Sadly it's closed down now, so maybe I'm wasting your time. Sorry if so." How would that be wasting my time? I'm not actually going to sample all of these restaurants (sic). Only the fried chicken ones.2nd over: England 12-0 (target: 242; Strauss 2, Davies 10) Abdul Razzaq will share the new ball. Strauss, driving with one hand of the bat, edges the second ball low through the vacant fourth-slip area for a single, and that allows the exciting Steve Davies – not a phrase sports fans are used to – to continue his innings. Razzaq nips a beauty through the gate that just misses the off stump, and then beats him on the outside next delivery. Terrific, crafty bowling. "There is (or was) a chippy in Sheffield called A Salt and Battered," says Phil Sawyer. "I would have pointed out to them that the pun doesn't really work, but as they had a Union Jack in the window, and a stream of large skinheads as clientele, assault and battery would have been a distinct possibility as a consequence of my pedantry."1st over: England 9-0 (target: 242; Strauss 1, Davies 8) Since you asked, I eschewed the "fried chicken" in favour of a smoothie and a packet of Frazzles. I might make 40 yet! Anyway, it'll be Shoaib Akhtar to open the bowling. He's a generous unit these days but he can still wang it down, and Strauss inside-edges a cut at the first ball just wide of his leg stump for a single. Davies is then beaten by his first delivery but slices his third deliberately over backward point for four. He gets four more next ball, this time with a delightful cover drive. "If we are talking about places that style themselves 'home of' or something similar, you would be hard pressed to beat Coventry's description of itself as 'The City in the Heart of Shakespeare Country'," says Richard O'Hagan. "This ignores the facts that (a) Coventry isn't even in the same county and Stratford-upon-Avon, (b) Even if it were in the same county, the 'heart of Shakespeare Country' is surely Stratford, where he was born and lived and not some manky market town which, in his day, would have been a day's ride away and (c) that the only accurate descriptor for Coventry is 'Coventry: A City So Ugly We've Invited the Germans Back'."INNINGS BREAKWICKET! Pakistan 241 all out (Gul b Bresnan 14) Shoaib, heaving Bresnan in about eight different directions at once, manages to get an inside-edge for four. Two balls later Bresnan bowls Gul all ends up with a slower ball. So England will need 242 to win the match and the series after an excellent performance in the field. It should be a doddle. I'm off to find some really healthy fried chicken; seee you in 30 minutes.I'll leave the last word to Simon Davidson. "Over 32 is right in the drab middle section of the innings so forgive me for getting some work done rather than read up on the OBO at that point. By the way, has anyone mentioned the brilliantly names fast food outlets of Fiscotheque, Eko_Unit, and Kebab Attack?"49th over: Pakistan 236-9 (Gul 14, Akhtar 1) What a remarkable shot. Gul, trying to slap Broad to leg from well outside leg stump, manages to get a leading edge just short of Davies, diving back whence to his right. A good over from Broad, full of variety, costs just two. Broad ends with figures of 10-0-45-1. "Just looked back at the 32nd over to see what would possess you to even start talking about smileys," says Fiona Dunlop. "CANNOT believe I missed Kebabs Windsor. Please talk to someone about opening a shop in East London. I would eat there every night. And I don't even like kebabs." We'd serve fried chicken as well. It might even be real chicken.48th over: Pakistan 234-9 (Gul 13, Akhtar 0) Gul was dropped earlier in the over by Bopara, diving forward at backward point. Anderson ends with brilliant figures of 10-2-26-3. "My favourite 'home of' sign is at Cambridge Station," says Toby Leeds. "'Cambridge - Home of Anglia Ruskin University'. Yep that's what everybody associates it with." That's ridiculous. How could they ignore John Beck?WICKET! Pakistan 234-9 (Ajmal LBW b Anderson 2) Ajmal walks across his stumps at a full slower delivery from Anderson and is absolutely plumb.47th over: Pakistan 232-8 (Gul 12, Ajmal 1) Gul pulls Broad zestily for four. Somebody, I forget who, opined the other day that there has never been a better allpurpose fielder among fast bowlers than Anderson. It's a big call but, despite racking my brain for at least 12 seconds, I couldn't think of anybody better. "Have I mentioned that I like a Number 8?" says Gary Naylor, unnecessarily discussing his sexual proclivity on the OBO. "Particularly when he has more nous than Numbers 1 to 7."WICKET! Pakistan 227-8 (Razzaq c Anderson b Broad 31) What a lovely catch from Jimmy Anderson. Razzaq clubbed a slower bouncer over midwicket, and Anderson at cow corner ran it to take an excellent low catch. That is a vital breakthrough, because Razzaq is an extremely dangerous death hitter and made 31 from 24 balls.46th over: Pakistan 222-7 (Razzaq 27, Gul 7) Bresnan starts with a wide but pulls the over back pretty well – just singles conceded – until he then bowls a wide from the last delivery. Razzaq smokes the extra delivery over mid off for four to make 11 from the over. "A certain food chain in Dublin is called "Abra-kebabra'," says Simon Davidson. "Who cares about the quality of the food when you get a name like that?" Or, indeed, when it was mentioned in the 32nd over. (Insert smiley here. I'm not being mean but I just can't bring myself to do a smiley.)45th over: Pakistan 211-7 (Razzaq 21, Gul 5) Five from Anderson's over, and now Pakistan have to take the batting Powerplay. "I like those places that style themselves 'home of' or' capital of'," says Lord Selvey. "Taihape is one of my favourites: 'The Gumboot Capital of New Zealand'." They've started doing this on the train journey to the Kent coast. There are boards at each station to say 'The home of Kent CCC/Gillingham FC/etc." At Sittingbourne it doesn't say 'The home of random violence, shell suits, manic depression and butchering 'Th' words and anyone wearing glasses', but it was implied.44th over: Pakistan 207-7 (Razzaq 19, Gul 3) Razzaq waits and helps a slower delivery from the new bowler Bresnan almost lovingly behind square on the leg side for four. A little flick to the same area brings three more from the next delivery, and with a Powerplay to come he might just be able to get Pakistan to within 50 runs of par here. "There's an intriguing kebab shop in Camden called Eko_Unit," says Chris Gibney. "It sounds like a Scandinavian fridge manufacturer, but instead sells fried chicken to drunken goths. Also, why the underscore? Maybe they though without the underscore it sounded weird."43rd over: Pakistan 197-7 (Razzaq 11, Gul 2) Razzaq needs to get on strike as much as possible, but if you hit a mighty six off the last ball of an over you get what you deserve: six runs, namely, but also the risk that the next over will be a maiden to your lower-order partner. Anderson obliges, keeping Gul down the striker's end in an excellent over. "If we're moving into Fish & Chip shops then surely you've got to mention the 'Fishcotheque' on Waterloo Road," says Mark Shilton, who may or may not be the owner of Fishcotheque on Waterloo Road.42nd over: Pakistan 197-7 (Razzaq 11, Gul 2) Broad digs in a slower bouncer and Razzaq has time to clean both nostrils and work out the meaning of life before smearing it handsomely over midwicket for six. "While travelling in New Zealand after university I came across an establishment in Auckland called 'Lord of the Kebabs," says Henry Burton. "They really will shoehorn that reference in anywhere. This is brilliantly demonstrated by the panel beaters in Wanaka called Lord of the Dings, a much better pun if you ask me."41st over: Pakistan 189-7 (Razzaq 5, Gul 1) James Anderson returns and starts with a leg side wide. Nothing else really happens. The loss of Afridi has seriously harshed Pakistan's buzz. "What an effing lazy cee!" says Scott Murray. "He couldn't be bothered to ground his bat! Wafting it around like a divining rod."40th over: Pakistan 186-7 (Razzaq 3, Gul 0) Madon, that was a preposterous dismissal, even by Afridi's standards. Beefy, meanwhile, is on an imperious one about the fact that Pakistan have yet to take their Powerplay and now have No9 at the crease. We see that so often. The batting Powerplay is almost more of a hindrance than a help, clouding the thought processes of batsmen. "Changing the fast-food tack slightly, there's a chippy in Kilkeel, County Down called The Codfather complete with Mario Puzo-esque sign," says Alison MacPherson. "I keep hoping they'll make me an offer I can't refuse..." Or an illness your insides can't resist.WICKET! Pakistan 185-7 (Afridi run out 34) This is an extraordinary and ridiculous dismissal. Afridi, coming back for a second, put his bat back in the crease but didn't ground it, and the throw from Swann in the deep bounced up onto the face of Afridi's bat and then into the stumps. It looked like nothing, and it took Billy Doctrove maybe 20 or 30 seconds to refer it, but it soon became apparent that he was out. He had strolled most of the second run as well. That was just weird, and also more than a little annoying because Afridi was revving up nicely in an innings of 34 from 29 balls.39th over: Pakistan 184-6 (Afridi 34, Razzaq 2) A good over from Yardy, just five from it and also the wicket. "Montenegro is the only country in Europe without a McDonalds, KFC or Burger King," high-fives Ben Heywood. "The result is that the country's entire fast-food network consists of places that make South Dakota Chicken King Hut look like a culinary Shangri-La, offering such delicacies as krap with slag (carp with cream). For afters, you might like to try some Noblice biscuits. They're surprisingly moreish."WICKET! Pakistan 181-6 (Fawad Alam c Strauss b Yardy 62) From around the wicket, Yardy gets one to stop a little and Alam, making room, lifts it straight to short extra cover. Again, that might not be the worst thing for Pakistan, because here comes Abdul Razzaq and his long handle.38th over: Pakistan 179-5 (Alam 62, Afridi 34) Hello! Afridi charges the first ball of Swann's final over and drags it over long on for a mighty six. He then makes room to clatter the last delivery through the covers for four, a superb stroke that makes it 14 from the over. This is more like it! "There used to be a kebab shop in New Southgate called Kebab Attack," says Leo Stevens. "Unfortunately the inevitable happened to my brother after eating a dodgy kebab from there but I think he appreciates the irony whilst being hooked up to the dialysis machine."37th over: Pakistan 165-5 (Alam 61, Afridi 21) Talking of bromances, there is definitely a fully-fledged one going on between Nasser and Bumble on Sky. Their banter – for want of a better word; I really hate the word banter – is consistently superb and far more entertaining than the cricket just now. That said, Alam makes room to cut Yardy's last ball for four and make it seven from the over. "Why cricket and fried chicken don't mix," says my colleague James Dart, while offering this link, and this one. At least they didn't go the full Ghost World.36th over: Pakistan 158-5 (Alam 55, Afridi 20) Swann's back for his penultimate over and Afridi, on the charge, boom-booms him down the ground for a ferocious, flat one-bounce four. "Wow!" says Nasser Hussain. A Bresnan overthrow makes it 10 from the over and prompts some filthy stuff to fall out of Swann's mouth. "I saw a Hentucky Fried Chicken in Manchester," says Phil Lamb. "I didn't go in." You haven't been in there yet.35th over: Pakistan 148-5 (Alam 53, Afridi 12) Michael Yardy takes the newer ball (there's a mandatory change after 34 overs) and starts with a full toss. Alam whaps it to leg and Luke Wright does brilliantly to save four. Those three runs give Alam his fifty, from 74 balls and with just two fours. Seven from the over, again none in boundaries. "Where I grew up in Salisbury, our local food-poi chicken emporium is called 'Chick-o-land'. Imagine my horror when I found out there are several more of these spreading across the country like some sort of zombie apocalypse. Ah, zombie apocalypses. Good times."34th over: Pakistan 141-5 (Alam 48, Afridi 11) Bresnan beats Afridi, who had maimage in mind, with a yorker-length delivery outside off stump. Afridi is swinging like a beauty at everything but he looks in very dodgy nick. Five from yet another boundaryless over. "Oi Smyth!" says Phil White. "Have you deleted me off Facebook?" SECURITY! Er, no, my account disappeared for reasons that were never properly explained to me. I think it was for being too darn popular. I miss the Scrabble defeats but not the photos, never the photos. Anyway, it's all about Tw*tter now.33rd over: Pakistan 136-5 (Alam 46, Afridi 8) Yardy replaces Swann (8-0-30-1), presumably with a view to hurrying through a couple of cheap overs before Afridi gets his eye in. There's one of them: just three from it, two when Afridi edges a lusty haymaker. Well bowled. "Talking of Stoke Newington, there's a Turkish place on the high street/Kingsland Road called Testi," says P Tutton, apologising in advance for his pay off. "Takes balls to eat there."32nd over: Pakistan 133-5 (Alam 45, Afridi 6) Afridi flogs a pull off Bresnan into the ground, through the hand of the diving Strauss and away for four. Strauss wrings his hand in pain. Seven from the over. "I thought I'd point out that while my fried-chicken prowess clearly marks me out as a bit of a catch, I do actually have a special someone to share the special 'recipe' with," ewwwwwws Guy Hornsby. "She too, is a fan of dirty chicken, and amongst other more rarefied (and healthy) pursuits, together we are taking in the best chicken emporia that Hackney, Stoke Newington and E17 has to offer. It's a match made in heaven. On which note, I'm amazed that no one has brought up the amazingly named Irish chain Abrakebabra. Genius name, rubbish kebabs though." That's a terrible name. What next? Kebabs Windsor?31st over: Pakistan 126-5 (Alam 42, Afridi 2) Five singles from Swann's over. I suppose with a fair wind and plenty of Boom Boom, Pakistan could still make 270 here, but even that is a below-par score. "You want chicken?" says Gary Naylor. "This man has chicken - he's Mr Chicken! (Scroll down - it's hilarious!)" That's my bedtime reading sorted for the night.30th over: Pakistan 121-5 (Alam 39, Afridi 0) Oh Pakistan, so much to answer for. "The Stoke Newington connoisseurs' choice," says Mathias Disney. "Chickpizz in Albion Road, N16, for when you just can't decide between chicken, pizza, burgers, kebabs or indeed chickpeas. That's eight of your five-a-day right there. And Chicken Spot just around the corner. In my book, if you buy food from an outlet with "spot" in the name, you get what you deserve. It just invokes liver spots for me."WICKET! Pakistan 121-5 (Umar Akmal c Swann b Bresnan 14) Those two good overs force Strauss into a change of plan, namely the return of Bresnan – and it works straight away. Bresnan sees Umar Akmal coming so he digs in a short, straight delivery, and Akmal, cramped for room, can only top-edge his hook shot to fine leg. That's very good cricket from England, and another frustratingly unnecessary dismissal for Akmal.29th over: Pakistan 119-4 (Alam 38, U Akmal 13) Umar has indeed given this innings a little oomph and runs are coming more freely. Seven from that Swann over, including a classy late cut for two by Umar Akmal. "Best restaurant name ever candidate," says Alex McGilivray. "A greasy spoon in Barnsley called Summat 2-8. Think about it." Dr Quack told me not to do that because it makes my head hurt.28th over: Pakistan 112-4 (Alam 37, U Akmal 8) I wonder how Yardy feels about bowling with Swann. On the one hand he is doing very well, but on the other Swann is so much better than him. It's not Yardy's fault. It's like best friends who go out on the pull even though they are more than a little different in the looks and charm department. Can theirs ever be a fully fledged bromance? Lord knows. Anyone, to prove the point, Yardy's over goes for nine: five fours and then a cut past short third man for four by Alam. "Point of order re 'Fargo," says Stephen Davenport. "Despite the film's name it wasn't set there, and more appropriately, if boringly, could have been called 'Brainerd'. Which is in Minnesota, where that accent comes form. 'You got that aboot right'."27th over: Pakistan 103-4 (Alam 31, U Akmal 5) Umar Akmal should liven things up one way or another: he has a strike-rate of 86 in his fledgling 50-over career. Four from that Swann over.26th over: Pakistan 99-4 (Alam 29, U Akmal 2) Two singles from Yardy's over. Pakistan are in all sorts of trouble here. "Not sure how hot the average OBOers French is," says Gabe Cadbury, " but for a fast-food outlet with an eye for a pun and its finger on the social pulse look no further than Aix's own 'Facebouffe'. And they're generous with the mayo." It's all double Dutch to me.25th over: Pakistan 97-4 (Alam 28, U Akmal 1) Swann is just too good and now has figures of 5-0-14-1. His contests with Umar Akmal are usually entertaining. Mind the windows Umar. "Not exactly (or even vaguely) fried chicken-related," begins Robert Hill, "but there is a mobile kebab van at the top of the Triangle in Bristol run by someone called Jason. It's imaginatively called 'Jason's Doner Van'." At least it's entirely honest, which can't be said of some of the establishments whose name includes the word 'chicken'.WICKET! Asad Shafiq (c Morgan b Swann 40) Shafiq charges Swann but can only lift him gently to long off, where Morgan takes a comfortable running catch. He swishes his bat angrily, but that might be a blessing in disguise for Pakistan as they have to get their hitters in at some stage. Here comes Umar Akmal and his lime-green lips.24th over: Pakistan 95-3 (Shafiq 40, Alam 26) Six from Yardy's over. These two really need to get a jump on. David Gower has just told us that the average first-innings run-rate in 40/50-over cricket at The Oval this season is over eight. "Emails please," says Daniel Rickard. "I'm sure you've got loads of blank ones from Friday people being funny… Maybe everyone else is in the pub. That's where I'm going - SkySports isn't on in the office today for some annoying reason." Or here. I'm just making it all up.23rd over: Pakistan 89-3 (Shafiq 38, Alam 22) Swann against Alam and Shafiq isn't a fair contest. Alam in particular is really struggling to get Swann off the square. Swann has a big shout for LBW against Alam from the third ball: it was definitely pad first and Hawkeye shows it would have hit middle and leg. I suppose there was sufficient doubt as to whether it was pad or bad first to make Richard Illingworth's decision a reasonable one. Just one run from a fine over. Emails please!22nd over: Pakistan 88-3 (Shafiq 38, Alam 21) Michael Yardy will replace his Sussex buddy Luke Wright, and his arrival means that we are into the Boring Middle Overs. See you in an hour or so. It's the usual business from Yardy: an over than took about two minutes, and cost only three runs. "Don't forget this horror..." winces Paul Ilechko.21st over: Pakistan 85-3 (Shafiq 37, Alam 20) Swann is back, having switched ends. Alam taps his first ball to leg to bring up the fifty partnership. Five singles from the over. "One can only imagine that North Dakota Fried Chicken would possess a uniquely limited appeal," says Anthony Pease. "Especially as it'd have to be advertised Fargo-style: 'North Dakota Fried Chicken. Kinda funny-lookin' since 2008.' Those who survive could, as they lie on their sick bed retrching violently, say proudly, "You should shee de udder guy".20th over: Pakistan 80-3 (Shafiq 35, Alam 17) Luke Wright has a big shout for LBW when Shafiq wafts all around a straight one. It looked like it might have been going down, although Hawkeye had it hitting the outside of leg stump. It could have gone either way. Shafiq then takes two boundaries through extra cover in three deliveries: the first crashed in the air, the second timed all along the floor. Wright is bowling poorly here – far too full – and has gone for 18 from his two overs. That economy rate will not stand, man. "Elementary mistake by Elliot Carr-Barnsley in the eighth over," says Andy Plowman. "In my green and pleasant land of Mile End, where there is a fried chicken shop for every three residents, the FC of one such purveyor of poultry stands for 'Food Corner' – as in, Fast Food Corner. It's a bit like cow corner, only full of yooves stuffing their morbidly obese faces with mayonnaise-smothered chips, rather than bored and lonely fielders."19th over: Pakistan 67-3 (Shafiq 26, Alam 16) Four from Broad's over, all in ones and wides. "All this talk of chicken has woken me up from my brush with death but also made me want copious amounts of lager," says Guy Hornsby – who, ladies, is clearly a keeper. "Tonight could end in tears. On the subject though, the finest-monikered chicken emporia I've come across would have to be the obvious but brief Chick Inn on Walthamstow's own Rodeo Drive of fried food, Hoe Street, and the wonderful FCKF, in Old Street. FCKF has diversified on the chicken-only riff and is thus named Fried Chicken, Kebabs and Fish, delivering an artery-thickening cornucopia of 3am filth. It also has a quite amazing frontage, showing all of its wares in slightly faded glory. Makes you proud, doesn't it?" Teenage deviants who type 'quite amazing frontage' into Google tonight are going to get an unpleasant surprise.18th over: Pakistan 63-3 (Shafiq 24, Alam 15) Luke Wright is coming on to bowl in place of Graeme Swann. His second ball is a leg-stump half-volley that Shafiq works through midwicket for a couple, and later in the over Alam drives pleasantly through mid-off for four. Seven from an over made even worse by a blast of the Kaiser Chiefs over the tannoy. "All 50 states would be great," says Dan Levy, "but can you imagine the spellings of Massachusetts: Massachewsets, Masachusetts, that state with Boston in it?" Massachewthischickenatyourperil?DRINKS BREAK17th over: Pakistan 56-3 (Shafiq 21, Alam 11) Mike Atherton and Sir Ian Botham are talking about the congestion charge. I know how they feel. This game is completely one-sided at the moment and Broad's fifth over yields just two runs. "Watching that video just made me want to ask one question. Why do some men think plucking eyebrows is a good idea?" asks Andy Taylor. "It either makes them look as if they've been badly Photoshopped or they come over like some gay icon to rival Jimmy Anderson." Well I suppose I just wanted a purer visage. ThaAND THEY DID IT WHEN I PASSED OUT AFTER TOO MUCH PINOT GRIGIO, THE GITS.16th over: Pakistan 54-3 (Shafiq 20, Alam 10) Alam is becalmed at the moment – he has 10 from 24 balls – and Pakistan are going nowhere. Four singles from the over, and there's a bit of turn already for Swann. "There's a northern chain of fried chicken establishments that seems to have had more of a problem with which mainstream franchise to ape, rather than which US state to adopt," says Dave Espley. "McTucky's." And to think people say it's grim up north.15th over: Pakistan 50-3 (Shafiq 18, Alam 8) Broad beats Alam with a peach, a rare fuller delivery that seamed past the edge. Just one from a superb over."Surely the ultimate fried chicken game is to collect all 50 states?" says John Leavey. "Vermont Fried Chicken, anyone? Presumably, Rhode Island would be the Holy Grail in such a game."14th over: Pakistan 49-3 (Shafiq 17, Alam 8) Swann is on for his the man he is bromancing, James Anderson. Two singles from a low-key over. "Bob," says Alex Netherton, "all this chicken shop abuse is starting to make me feel like the wedding venue of CFC is a mistake." Till undercooked chicken-induced death do us part.13th over: Pakistan 47-3 (Shafiq 16, Alam 7) Shafiq steers Broad deliberately past the solitary slip for four. Then Fawad gets five in comic fashion. Having taken a quick single to mid-on, Anderson's hopelessly errant throw flew off Fawad's leg and away to the boundary. Broad wears the rueful look of a man who thought he was going to see Scott Pilgrim vs The World and is now watching the opening credits to Cyrus. "Death of cricket," announces Patrick McGovern. "I won't stay long. I can't enjoy cricket anymore since this recent tragedy." You should never use the word 'tragedy' in connection with sport. Ordimarily, but this is an exception. That is truly shocking and, to misquote Jon Bon Jovi, they give bromance a bad name.12th over: Pakistan 37-3 (Shafiq 11, Alam 2) Another really good over from Anderson, just three from it. We're in a Powerplay, but Pakistan are getting 'em in singles. They are in big trouble, already. "Surely in the Lynch cricket film it's the distorted voice of Brian Johnston saying 'The batsman's Holding...' coming out of the radiator," says Clive Hedges, "while the head of Shane Warne is removed and taken to a machine to be turned into balls." Any screenwriters out there? I think we've hit the motherload!11th over: Pakistan 34-3 (Shafiq 9, Alam 1) England take their bowling Powerplay, as you'd expect. Broad has a big shout for LBW against Shafiq: it was missing leg, but at least he bothered to appeal. Later in the over Shafiq survives a referral to the third umpire, Kent CCC's ersatz Gower, Nigel Llong. The on-field Richard Illingworth checked just to be sure, but he was looked comfortably in, and so he was. "GFC is bound to be Georgia, as all the other southern US states had already been used up between Shepherds Bush and Acton," says Dan Levy. "Beyond Acton you get into four-letter chicken shacks: mmmm New Mexico Fried Chicken." Oh that's a four-letter chicken shack all right.10th over: Pakistan 31-3 (Shafiq 7, Alam 0) Talking of Jimmy Anderson, this is one for the boys, and indeed the girls. In other news, here's John Starbuck: "A good David Lynch cricket movie would also feature Shane Warne texting backwards." And sending them to the right woman.WICKET! Pakistan 31-3 (Mohammad Yousuf LBW b Anderson 16) Madon, this is turning into a farce. Yousuf moved across his stumps to a ball from Anderson that jagged back sharply, and he got his bat jammed behind his pad as the ball thudded into the front leg. It also hit the bat but it was definitely pad first. That looked good live and was given out by Billy Doctrove, although Yousuf was unimpressed. There was a bit of an issue on height – Hawkeye had it just clipping the top of the stumps – and that decision could have gone either way.9th over: Pakistan 31-2 (Shafiq 7, Yousuf 16) Here comes The Pretty Enforcer, to use his wrestling name, England's first-change regular Stuart Broad. A decent first over – all good length or shorter – costs just three singles. "Can you give a plug to my mate steve's charity effort of cycling round the world?" says Dan Twort. "He made it to Damascus for his 30th birthday on Tuesday - I wasn't there to buy him a beer but sending people to http://www.cyclingthe6.com may make up for it."8th over: Pakistan 28-2 (Shafiq 6, Yousuf 14) Now Yousuf gets his first boundary, pushing Anderson square on the off side with a lot of class. The next ball is pinged through midwicket for three, and all in all it's a good over for Pakistan: nine from it. Even with such a bad start, 300 is a legitimate target on this track. "Another good game is guessing the name of those places called GFC or something," says Elliot Carr-Barnsley. "You know the FC is Fried Chicken, but one can only guess at whether the first letter is a place or description. Golden? Gent? Guam? Who wants some Guam Fried Chicken?" Grizzled? Gnarled?7th over: Pakistan 19-2 (Shafiq 5, Yousuf 6) Shafiq gets his first boundary with a lovely stroke, timing Bresnan off his pads through midwicket. Pakistan could yet reach 150 here! "Kept low, inside edge," says Lord Selvey of this dismissal. If David Lynch ever makes a cricket TV series it will end with Selve looking in the mirror, the face and mane of Jason Gillespie looking back at him, while saying repeatedly: "Kept low, inside edge; kept low, inside edge."6th over: Pakistan 14-2 (Shafiq 1, Yousuf 5) And another one goes by, to quote those cricket-loving Walkmen: just one from a discipline over from Anderson. "Akmal's was a freak dismissal?" sniffs Gary Naylor. "Nah. Shahid Afridi leaving out Mohammad Irfan this morning is a freak dismissal." I'm gonna tell him you said that.5th over: Pakistan 13-2 (Shafiq 1, Yousuf 4) This pitch does look really good for batting – lovely, true bounce; barely any sideways movement – so Pakistan can't afford to waste too many overs rebuilding the innings. That's another one gone, with just three coming from Bresnan's third over. "Am at the Oval," announces Simon Thomas. "Turns out that my waiting for my mates to turn up before taking my seat was a bad move. 'Just getting in the cab now', my arse. Still, two pints down already. And I've got the tickets." Form an orderly one, ladies.4th over: Pakistan 10-2 (Shafiq 1, Yousuf 1) Pakistan are all over the show. Just two singles from Anderson's second over, and Shafiq is beaten by the last delivery. "I used to play a local chicken emporium game with a colleague of mine when out and about in London," says Tom Rothery with a glow of entirely misplaced pride. "First one to spot and call out the name of an as-yet-undiscovered takeaway (e.g. Flava Chicken and Ribs), got to dead-arm the other. Painful but great fun." Surely a better punishment would have been to make the loser eat from said establishment?3rd over: Pakistan 8-2 (Shafiq 0, Yousuf 0) A wicket maiden for Bresnan. Contest please! "Colly's batting is shot and his bowling hardly used," says Gary Naylor, "but at least he can still catch - shame what he caught was a virus." 'Shot'? Really? I can't believe you of all people have fallen for the old Colly Mind Trick. He's never more dangerous than when he looks like he doesn't know which end of the bat to hold.WICKET! Pakistan 8-2 (Kamran Akmal b Bresnan 5) This is a freak dismissal. Akmal tried to tuck some short leg-stump filth on its way but he missed it and it went off the top of his thigh pad and back onto the stumps. Shades of Michael Vaughan's dismissal after that regal century against India at Trent Bridge in 2007.2nd over: Pakistan 8-1 (K Akmal 5, Shafiq 0) "No Collingwood. No Pietersen. No Cook," says Ed Whyatt. "Who do you reckon would take the reins if Strauss went off? Anderson? Yardy? Swann? As a Sussex follower I know what a good captain Yardy is, but maybe he's not embedded in the England fold enough yet?" Good question. It might just be the hard Yards, you know, so impressive has he been these last six months. Or it might be Naylor's outside bet to be Strauss's successor: Trott. He'd probably take 20 minutes over the toss.WICKET! Pakistan 8-1 (Mohammad Hafeez c Davies b Anderson 1) Jimmy Anderson strikes with an absolute jaffa. It pitched just outside off and moved away late, turning Hafeez round and taking the thinnest of edges on its way through to Davies. That's gorgeous bowling.1st over: Pakistan 6-0 (K Akmal 4, Hafeez 0) Kamran Akmal, who looks in good nick at the moment, pushes Bresnan's last ball through the covers for four. This could be an extremely good day for batting. "I would like to add my congratulations to Mr Netherton," says Richard O'Hagan. "And my commiserations to the soon to be Mrs Netherton. But please, in the name of all sanity, put the condoms back on the list. There are two people on this OBO who shouldn't be allowed to breed, and he's half of them." The other one is Bull, right? Ingle? Dart? Naylor? Pee ess Can we not talking about Fred today? I've still got the radge about the timing of his announcement. We'll always love him, and he was the most interesting English cricketer since RWT Ke Sir Iron Bottom, but that was really poor.Your OBO needs you: a rousing speech from Guy Hornsby "I think it's more like F-game for me this morning Mr Smyth. I feel I now have some connection with the pain of your subcontinent OBOs from back in the day, having celebrated the finish of the gripping County Championship (poor Somerset) last night by drinking champagne for five hours at our work client party. I woke up on the tube home slumped across two seats at 12.30 this morning, and capped off a triumphant trip home with a visit to Chicken Village, Walthamstow's 'finest'. My head feels like a bag of smashed crabs and I want to go to bed, but the arrival of the OBO is soothing my fractured brow."You know it's been a truly special night when you end up not in KFC, not in McDonald's, not even in a kebab shop, but in the local chicken emporium. Part of me still misses living in Hammersmith; no part of me misses those mezzanine trips to Texa Fried Chicken on Fulham Palace Road.Regular readers will probably know of Alex Netherton, whose shopping-list riffs have made some for some fun OBOs down the years. Well Alex is getting married tomorrow to another OBOer, Becca Dealtry, so our warmest congratulations to them. I suppose that's the end of Alex's shopping-list riffs; or, at the very least, those shopping lists will look a bit different. No condoms, for a start. That little game is over now.Alex and Becca are also keen on donations for Tim Woolias's imminent run for the Laurie Engel Fund, so please give generously.Talking of classic action, while Lord Selvey is en route from the office to The Oval, here's some footage of him facing up to a rampant Michael Holding on this ground 34 years ago. It's nicked from the county blog but it deserves to be seen. Six over midwicket you say? Well, not quite.Tony Soprano says that remember when is the lowest form of conversation. He's right; that's why we love it. So thanks to Gary Naylor for this remarkable discovery, a sensory overload of nostalgia.Pakistan have won the toss and will bat first. That's no real jazz for England, who are very comfortable chasing at the moment, although Andrew Strauss says he would have batted. Pakistan replace the circus act with Abdul Razzaq – a big improvement to their team – while England are without Paul Collingwood, who has a virus, Luke Wright comes in, and that leaves the batting looking a wee bit light.England Strauss (c), Davies (wk), Trott, Morgan, Bopara, Yardy, Wright, Bresnan, Swann, Broad, Anderson.Pakistan Mohammad Hafeez, Kamran Akmal (wk), Asad Shafiq, Mohammad Yousuf, Umar Akmal, Fawad Alam, Shahid Afridi (c), Abdul Razzaq, Umar Gull, Saeed Ajmal, Shoaib Akhtar. Song du jour Music to follow a spot-fixing scandal by.Preamble Hello, good afternoon and welcome. Most people like to start a conversation with a quip or a smart comment, to get off on a good footing, but I've always preferred, especially on first dates, to dive straight in with a classy cricket statistic or two. So, did you know that England have won more international matches in 2010 than in any previous summer or calendar year? Clearly that is in no small part down to the obese modern schedule, but it's still worthy of note and maybe even some celebratory eye contact.Yet instead of triumphalism, it has engendered a certain ennui (or Thierry ennui as Bumble calls it), making John Buchanans of all: craving a decent contest and loitering in the corridors of expensive hotels in the small hours ("Officer, I was just putting a Sun Tzu transcript under her door"). I'm not the only one who does that, right?Whether we will get a close game today, who knows. With Pakistan assuming the cornered-tiger position – if they lose, England have won the series – anything is possible. What we do know is that today's match will struggle to match the wonderful, nuanced excitement of yesterday's County Championship denouement. The England and Pakistan players aren't the only ones who need to raise their game to match it; so do you and me and the other two people who read this. Yesterday's county blog was absolutely marvellous above and below the line, with 80,000 page views and, at the last look, 944 comments – almost all of them off the middle of the bat. I hope you've brought your A game today.England v Pakistan 2010England cricket teamPakistan cricket teamCricketRob Smythguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Johnson: Premiership can help England • England manager sees benefits in Premiership changes• Hopes to hit the ground running on 6 NovemberMartin Johnson believes the renewed emphasis on attacking rugby in the Aviva Premiership this season will help England to make a strong start to their autumn international campaign, which opens against the Tri-Nations champions New Zealand at Twickenham on 6 November.Johnson, the England team manager, pointed to the Premiership leaders, Northampton, as the model in what will be his most important period in charge with the World Cup starting in less than a year."It has been an exciting start to the season," Johnson told rfu.com. "There have been some really good games and the intensity and physicality of Northampton, the only unbeaten side in the league, have been the best. Their execution levels have been good and they can play in a variety of ways."Ball-in-play time is higher than last year and more tries are being scored. That is what people want to see rather than the ball stuck in the breakdown for long periods. The new directive for referees in the tackle area has made a difference and it is important it is applied consistently."Johnson said he would be looking for England to start against New Zealand in the manner they finished last season when they defeated Australia in Sydney. "We need to hit the ground running, not suffer a dip," he said."The England players will spend a lot of time together in the next 12 months, starting with the autumn internationals. It is the most competitive squad I have had and the focus will get narrower at the top end. We had a number of guys coming through last year who were not regulars with their clubs, such as Dan Cole and Courtney Lawes, and things can change."We want players to put their hands up. We will go into the New Zealand game looking to get momentum through performance. That means playing with intensity, as we did in Sydney. We have a good idea of where we are and you need a team to get consistency on the field by keeping the team together."Johnson will need better fortune with injuries compared with last autumn when England were depleted in several areas. So far, it is the Saxons who have been mainly hit and the Bath hooker, Lee Mears, has been ruled out of action for eight weeks after he suffered an arm injury this month.Martin JohnsonEngland rugby union teamNew Zealand rugby union teamPremiershipRugby unionPaul Reesguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
History with ACC secures future for Raycom The survival of Raycom Sports hinged on its 31-year relationship with the ACC. feeds.bizjournals.com |
LaDainian Tomlinson back in old form with Jets hitting stride When Marty and Brian Schottenheimer spoke during the offseason, it was hardly a typical father-son chat. "Dad, what do you think about LT?" asked ... rssfeeds.usatoday.com |
Racing's rulers may have to vet the vets as Royal College drags its heels | Greg Wood James Main has still not been held to account for his part in last year's Moonlit Path caseEvery month or so for the last year and a half, I have made the same phone call and received the same answer. The unfailingly polite press officer at the other end of the line works for the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons, the question is whether there is any news about the RCVS's inquiry into a vet called James Main, and the answer is always no, but do please call again.Most racing fans will have forgotten all about Main, if they ever registered his name. Fewer, though, will have forgotten that last summer Nicky Henderson was fined £40,000 and banned from making entries for three months for a serious breach of the anti-doping rules. A mare called Moonlit Path – owned by The Queen, no less – had been injected with a banned blood-clotting agent on the day of a race. The vet who did the injecting, which he described in his practice records as a "pre-race check", was James Main.This was a case that raised a number of questions, perhaps the most serious of which was how many other trainers in the Lambourn area at the time, many of whom also use the well-known practice of O'Gorman, Slater & Main, were also engaging in deliberate rule breaches.Main was the obvious person to ask, but he refused to attend the British Horseracing Authority's hearing, much to the frustration of the panel, which found that he had "potentially crucial evidence to give". And the BHA could not compel him to attend, or threaten any sanction if he did not, because, while it licences trainers and jockeys, vets are the business of the RCVS.The BHA passed details of its findings to the RCVS on 17 July 2009, yet, 13 months after Henderson's penalty expired, there is no sign that Main is any closer to accounting for his role in the case. O'Gorman, Slater & Main, meanwhile, is still one of the biggest practices in the Lambourn valley, and was providing veterinary support on Hennessy day at Newbury.The BHA, of course, is hardly Judge Dredd when it comes to dispensing instant justice. Last Friday, for instance, saw the start of the inquiry into the controversial running and riding of Sabre Light at Lingfield in December. December 2008, that is.Yet the important difference in the Henderson/Main case is that the BHA had already done the difficult part by collecting sufficient evidence to make its own charges stick. The accepted facts have been available for public inspection on the BHA's website since July 2009. No need for WikiLeaks here.Any trainer who wants their horses to compete effectively needs a good vet. Unfortunately, as the American experience has shown in recent years, bad trainers need a good vet too. Indeed, the remarkable effect that certain vets can have on a trainer's strike-rate is now so widely recognised in the States that some punters will advise you, only half in jest, to forget about the trainer and back the vet instead.Vets are at the heart of the struggle to keep British racing clean and drug-free, and their significance is only likely to increase. Regulation that moves at such a shuffling pace as that provided by the RCVS, however, is really no regulation at all, not least because – unlike a doctor, say – a vet will usually be allowed to continue to practice while an investigation is pending.A £1bn industry deserves much better, and whatever the outcome – if any – of the RCVS investigation, the lesson needs to be learned. A situation in which a vet can collude with a trainer to commit a serious breach of the rules, decline to answer for his actions and then carry on as normal is intolerable.The BHA has plenty to worry about already, but this looks like a gaping hole in the integrity rules, one that the RCVS, it seems, cannot be trusted to close. The BHA may never be able to approve every vet who works with racehorses, but it should be prepared to disapprove of them – by warning them off if necessary – when the circumstances demand it.Horse racingGreg Woodguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |